Here come all of the “NEW YEAR, NEW YOU” blogs and social media ads, right? And, of course, all of the New Year’s Resolution articles in all of the magazines and on all of the lifestyle blogs. I decided to change things up a bit. I am writing some resolutions that will be sure to piss off all of the concern trolls and fat shamers! I am basing my resolutions on the HATE topics that are most common on my blog and social pages and twisting them around to turn them into a “learning moment” and something super duper positive!
7 Fierce Fat Girl Resolutions by Chrystal Bougon, Curvy Girl Lingerie
1. I resolve to BE Fat and Happy! Sure, I will have a down day here and there, but what I have observed since I opened my boutique three years ago is that it REALLY drives the fat haters up a wall when we are FAT and HAPPY and having fun. So, I resolve to have lots more FATTY fun in 2016. (A blog I wrote about fat and happy on Huff Po.)
2. I resolve to eat in public and eat all of the foods that the trolls seem to be obsessed with. Trolls despise when fatties eat PIZZA and when we eat DONUTS. I resolve to eat more of both and in public. It’s kind of fun to watch for all of the side-eye from people nearby when they see this kind of behavior. CRACKS ME THE F UP! Oh and pie. They hate it when we eat pie or cake. So, yes. More pie and cake, too!
3. Concern trolls really hate when we glorify anything, but they especially have a boner for the “you glorify obesity” thing. So, yes, for sure. I resolve to glorify the shit out of my fatty customers and me. I will glorify love. I will glorify beauty. I will glorify sexy people and sex. And, just a side bar for the trolls, if there was some way to “glorify obesity”…whatever in the hell that even means…. I will do it until I take my last breath.
4. Hot Sex is always on my list or resolutions. EVERY YEAR. The world assumes us fatties don’t have sex and when we do, it’s definitely not hot. WRONG AGAIN. But, my resolution is to keep educating and entertaining my customers and followers about all the ways our fat bodies can create pleasure. And, hot sex is for every body. And I plan to continue to prove that on a daily basis. (Here is my ebook on Amazon about hot sex.)
5. I resolve to wear whatever I want since it seems to annoy the crap out of the BODY POLICE, the FASHION POLICE and the FAT SHAMERS. Teeny tiny trashy lingerie on my fat body. ALL DAY EVERY DAY. Romantic and pretty lingerie on my fat body. ALL DAY EVERY DAY!
6. I resolve to demand better service in restaurants, stores and while flying. The fat shamers and concern trolls prefer we all just hide out and ever fly anywhere. We should never take up more than the 17″ airplane seats allow. We should all just go and DIE FATTY…. according to my blog…. so my Resolution #6 is to fly while fat more. Travel more. Ask for better chairs in the restaurants I love and NEVER feel bad about it.
7. According to the haters that comment on my blog and Facebook page, we should NEVER flaunt our fat bodies. In fact, they seem to want us to COVER them up with big ugly smocks and ponchos and never ever wear REVEALING dresses or skirts. Since it seems to make them so mad and they are always begging me to “stop flaunting your fat” on my blog and You TUBE… I resolve to SHOW MORE SKIN and FLAUNT MY CURVES.
As I often say to the shamers and trolls on my social pages… there’s a reason you’re here looking at all of these half naked fat women in lingerie…. and one would guess that there may be some masturbatory reasons….. so we will keep up the SKIMPY CLOTHES and LINGERIE and while you’re dealing in all of this hate… we hope you can find another human to HUG you because you clearly need it. I do realize sex with your hand gets boring after a while.
What your resolutions fellow fierce fatties? Will you join me in my 7 FIERCE FATTY New Year’s Resolutions?
Are you a Curvy Girl Insider? Text us the word curvygirl to 22828. (One word. curvygirl) That will add you to our newsletter.
We’re on Instagram, too. http://Instagram.com/CurvyGirlLingerie