If you have heard any of my interviews (especially when I was on CNN, GMA, Inside Edition, etc during the 2 weeks of press craziness over the Fit Mom vs. Curvy Girl brew-ha-ha) you maybe heard me say how I want my Curvy Girls to enjoy every ounce of pleasure their curvy bodies are capable of RIGHT NOW. Right this very second. Not in 25lbs from now. Not when they lose their baby weight. Not when they get that perfect job. NOW. Right this second.
I say if often on my Curvy Girl Facebook Page. I say it often at our brick and mortar plus size lingerie store. I say it a lot on my various blogs all over the interwebs. SEIZE THE DAY CURVY GIRLS! Enjoy your body now. Rock that lingerie now. Stop having sex with the lights off. Stop ducking out of photographs your family is taking. It’s time for Curvy Girls to come out of the shadows and we are going to stop hiding NOW. I want you all to live without any regrets or any time lost.
But, why is that so important to me? (And, yes, I do believe in good health and I always want all of my curvy customers to be working towards good health. Not working towards a certain size. Working towards good health which can happen at EVERY size.) The reason I want all of you beautiful, bodacious, Curvy women to seize the day is because tomorrow is not guaranteed. And, sadly, I have some experience with this concept. I have experienced some pretty major loss in my life. I have lots some people VERY close to me and very near and dear to my heart and to my life.
So, a bit about my journey to this point. 45 now. Basically, overweight by someone’s definition, since the 3rd grade. I remember my family moved from Nellis Air Force Base to a home off the base and it seems like that was a turning point for me with my weight. I was fortunate to be raised by a family that had unconditional love for me and rarely did anyone say anything negative about my weight. (Save for a few 2nd cousins who were sort of assholes.)
Then, in 1989 (the year of the big earthquake) my best friend since the 3rd grade, died in a really horrific drunk driving accident. Her name was Traci. She was the drunk one. She also killed 3 other people in her drunk driving accident. And, sadly, the last time the two of us got to spend any time together we were in Reno for a long weekend with our boyfriends and we got into a big fight about her desire to get drunk and go cruise the strip in Reno. I was mad and didn’t think we should be driving. She went anyway. I got so mad at her. She was fine that night, but we both left Reno to head back to our respective homes without talking to each other again. A few months later, she died in this horrible crash in Las Vegas (our home town) and I had to fly home for her funeral. That sort of started me on my “seize the day” mission.
Then, in 2007, I lost my sister, Thumper. My sister struggled with all kinds of mental health issues during her short 37 hears on this planet. I wrote about her passing and our life about 2 years after her death. Here is the link to the blog about my sweet sister, Thumper. We called her Thumper J. Rabbit, but her birth name was Connie. My sister and I were born 2 years and 1 day apart. She was a Valentine’s Day baby. The crazy thing is that my sister died very peacefully in her sleep due to a heart irregularity and likely, somewhat from the recreational drugs and the anti-psychotic drugs she took for her bipolar / schizoeffective disorder. Heavy stuff and it’s my theory that all of the prescription and other drugs took a toll on her heart. She fell asleep and never woke up. Such an amazingly peaceful death for a person who had so much drama and trauma in her life. For that, I will always be thankful but will miss her every day of my life.
One year later, I lost 2 people I loved deeply. My boyfriend/long term partner’s brother and his brother’s father in law died within 2 weeks of each other in 2008. So within 14 months time, I lost 3 people who I loved deeply and who each had a huge impact on my life. It all seems so surreal now. There were a few years in there that are such a blur when I look back. My boyfriend / long term partner since 1987 (Fred) and I were dealing with SO MUCH stuff in addition to grieving and trying to figure life without all three of them. It was us trying to find our “new normal” as they often say in grief counseling.
Then, 2 years ago, Fred died suddenly. That was Dec. 6th 2011. It was such a shock and I felt so numb for so long. Fred and I were actually no longer a “couple” but we were best friends (and best friends since 1987) at the time when he died. His death was so sudden and that led to me feeling so numb, I think. I called him on the Friday the week after Thanksgiving week. He was off from work and was going to take me to drive me to the mechanic to help me out with a ride home so I could get my brakes done. But, when I called him he was super sick. He thought he had food poisoning from a second turkey he had bought the week of Thanksgiving.
When I got to our house, he was sick and in our bedroom. I just knew how awful it feels to be alone and sick and I wanted to come check on him and see if I could get him some pedialyte and some soup. We truly thought he had food poisoning. We were together all day long and he just wasn’t getting any better. Finally, later that night, I took him to the ER at Kaiser and he never made it home. He died 4 days later at Kaiser. It was just all such a whirlwind and a shock.
And, let me tell you how much that man LOVED Curvy Girls! 🙂 Fred was always made me feel like a goddess from the first day we met in the Fall of 1986. He always told me how beautiful I am and how much he adored my body pretty much every day for about 19 years. 🙂 . And, he always admired (respectfully) other curvy women – out and about or on t.v. He was truly a Curvy Girl admirer. (And I keep a few of his things at the store because that man LOVED the curvy girl lingerie store idea. It was an idea he and I actually started talking about in 2010.)
So, this is why I constantly say SEIZE THE DAY. This is why I want you all to ENJOY every ounce of pleasure your body is capable of. Don’t deny your partner the beauty that exists in having all of that confidence about your body. Rock the lingerie. Wear the teeny tiny panties your lover enjoys you in – even if you don’t think they look sexy. If they do, then go with it. Stop waiting until you are that perfect weight. Stop buying what the media is selling. You are imperfectly perfect exactly as you are right now,. Tomorrow really is not guaranteed. LOVE your body right now. Your body is capable of so much pleasure – fat or not – and the more you LOVE your self and your own body – you can really fall in love with your own body when you take the time to learn all of the pleasure every inch of your body is capable of.
Stop Buying What the Media is Selling
And, as I like to say – if your lover keeps showing up with you naked over and over and over again, that probably means he or she is REALLY into you. So, try to silence your inner mean girl and embrace your curves and have some fun.
Love, Chrystal Bougon
Owner and Resident Curvy Girl