This blog has been marinating in my brain for a few days. I know this plagues all of us on occasion. Curvy women, thin women, tall women, atletic women … and men, too. What will it take for you to believe you are beautiful?
If you know me, you know I am a regular “cheerleader” to women trying to convince them that you are PERFECT and that you should enjoy all of the pleasure your body is capable of. I practically scream from the rooftops that you are ENOUGH. You are smart enough. You are pretty enough. You are thin enough. You are perfect exactly the way you are RIGHT NOW….not when you lose 10 lbs. “Go ahead. Wear that lingerie now. Go ahead. Rock those sexy shoes and g-string today!” These days, you can hear me saying those things on a daily basis at my Curvy Girl Lingerie store.
I have been fortunate in my life to hear the words “you are beautiful” from many and varied people in my past and present. From my Mom. From my Grandparents. From my Sister. From boyfriends. From my extended family. From my Aunties and Uncle. From strangers. From my Girlfriends. From coworkers. From friends and strangers on Facebook… and yet, sometimes I even sometimes don’t believe it. ME – the “you are PERFECT enough cheerleader!” (Here is a blog I wrote last November about surrendering in the bedroom and letting go of all of that negative self talk and REALLY enjoy yourself in your own boudoir.)
Now, the pracitical side of me, and the self aware side of me, is able to hear the negative self talk creeping in when I start doubting how beautiful or pretty I am. I know how to quiet those MEAN voices. But, I was having some doubts about myself the other day and heard those MEAN voices screaming inside my head. I stopped myself and thought about something a gorgeous young man said to me once that was very flattering and that is when I asked myself “Chrystal, what will it take for you to believe you are beautiful.”
And, like all of you, I have a ton of girlfriends that I hear talking about this same thing. It’s a daily struggle for all of us. I know. Everyone of you reading this doubts yourself and how attractive you are or you worry about something about your own body. Possibly daily. (And ladies. Men have just as many confidence issues and lots of self doubt about their bodies and their apperance, too. Thin men. Heavy men. Atletic men. Chubby men. Tall Men. Short men. Bald men. Rich Men. Hairy Men. All of them!)
One good friend and I had a discussion about this very topic a few months ago when a gentleman gave her a compliment and she had a hard time believing it. She had some doubt in her mind about his intention behind the compliment. My advice to her was to BELIEVE IT. In my limited experience, many men are not very expressive and they don’t normally just give out a bunch of compliments willy nilly. I say if someone gives you a compliment, they must mean it. Right? So believe it when you hear one. Even if you think he’s just trying to get into your panties. It’s still a real compliment.
I have heard lots of mean things in my life. I have been overweight since I was in the 3rd grade. A ton of mean comments have been made to me about my weight. And, once, when I was in college, an elderly gentelman said I was a “handsome woman” and that has stuck with me since I was 19. I REALLY did NOT like being called “handsome.” But, I have received expontentially MUCH more sweet and positive compliments since then…. but that one stupid compliment from that old man has stuck with me for like 25 years. SO SILLY. Why does my brain want to remember that one and not the other nice one’s?
What will it take for you to believe you are beautiful?
What is the most memorable compliment you have ever received?
If you would like to read more about my Sexy At Any Size mission, here is a blog I wrote last year called “Sexy at Any Size? How about HOT!”
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I can’t wait to hear about your own struggle with believing you are beautiful. Please comment here on my blog if you can.
Blissfully, Chrystal Bougon