Love Letter to an Internet Bully

Dear Internet Bullies, Fat Shamers, Concern Trolls,Thumb Thugs.

curvy-girl-lingerieEveryone has at least one story about being bullied or shamed once in their lifetime. For some of us it happened in grade school. Others in high school. For some of us, our families bullied us about our weight or our sexuality. For some of us, we have been bullied online by anonymous internet bullies or concern trolls. Others of us have been bullied on the playground or in a sports arena. Some of us get bullied at work. Everyone can relate to being bullied or shamed. And, those of you who know me as the owner of Curvy Girl Lingerie, you may be very familiar with the very public bullying I have been a part of since I opened my plus size lingerie store in Oct. 2012. Who knew people had so much free time to be so concerned about my health and the health and happiness of all of the beautiful fat, curvy, thick and plush women we have helped in the 17 months we have been open. Some of them have been very vocal and most of the others have been anonymous shamers and cyber bullies hiding behind anonymous profiles and faceless emoticons.

Jen Mclellan of PlusSizeBirth.com and Facebook.com/PlusSizeMommyMemoirs and I want to invite you to join us in writing a LOVE LETTER to your bully. Stand up to your bully and give them a piece of your mind. Take the power back and say exactly what you always wanted to say to that person that bullied you. (Jen from Plus Size Birth shared more about her journey and her mission here on her blog, too. PSMM Love Letter Blog Link.

I saw Jen post this on her Facebook page a few days ago and I was so inspired. Her Love Letter to a Bully who tried to shame her aboutcurvy-girl-lingerie her weight inspired me and I reached to Jen and told her I wanted to create one and I want to invite EVERYONE to write a Love Letter to their Bully. She loved the idea and so we decided to launch this new program.

You can share your Love Letter to your bully on our respective Facebook pages and just write it on our walls. But, what would be even more meaningful and powerful is if you did what Jen and I did and take a picture of yourself and overlay your love letter on top of your picture to let the world see who you are. Let your Bully know you are done taking their crap. Let’s show them that we are humans. Show your picture and write your truth over it. We are not just bots or pixels on a blog. We are real human beings with parents, lovers and friends who read the mean comments these bullies leave on our Facebook pages, our blogs, and our Twitter feeds. Do they ever think of that? That my beautiful Mom or my best friend might read this mean shit?

So share yours. I used picmonkey.com to create my Love Letter to a Bully. But, you can use any tool you prefer or just go and write your love letter to your bully. You can write it here in the blog comments. You can go to Jen’s Plus Size Mommy Memoirs Facebook Page and post your .jpeg or you can go to my Curvy Girl Facebook page and join in the dialogue or add your Love Letter to a Bully picture. Let’s create a movement. Let’s shut it all down. It’s long over due.

Truly, I wish all Fat Shamers, Concern Trolls and Internet Bullies could get to a point in their life where they can find some real love that will help heal or fill their heart so their eyes and hearts can see beauty in all things and all people.

And, for me, I have noticed that nothing pisses off a Fat Shamer or an Internet Troll like being FAT, SASSY, HEALTHY, HAPPY and SUCCESSFUL!  Haters are motivators for me and the hatred that they spew so freely all over social media and all over the interwebs help me to wake up and hit the ground running each morning…. fulfilling my life’s goal to show Curvy, Fat, Thick and Plush women that they are beautiful and sexy and that the deserve to be respected and loved. And, to teach them not to listen to the HATERS. I live for it and their trash talking will never squelch my fire.

I love this amazing idea and I give Jen Mclellan all of the credit for coming up with this amazing post.  Below here is her original post that inspired me and I am so grateful to her for collaborating with me on this project!     plus-size-lingerie

Write your love letter and submit it here to my blog if you prefer not to post on Facebook or Twitter. Just go to the comments section and add your picture and Love Letter and join us in this Love Letter to an Internet Bully campaign.

Sincerely, Chrystal Bougon

Owner and Resident Curvy Girl

 

 

 

 

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  • Plus Size Mommy

    Thank YOU Chrystal for seeing a HUGE opportunity to allow other women, who have walked in our shoes, to vent about this issue. I’m so delighted to be doing this project together. I hope many will participate and feel the sense of relief and validation I know feel.

  • Lisa Danni Messer

    You guys super inspire me!

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  • keeper

    hello I just saw the news and I had to write, my wife was a plus size lady and a very sexy one at that. Have fun look good the hell with other people think, I have dated women that were not plus sizes no fun..

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  • Sad-one

    Dear Dr. XXX Md

    You have me step on the scales before every appointment and write down the number displayed. I can handle that, I have been fat for a very long time and have no illusions about it. But you seem to be able to glean more information than that from this number. You think you know every thing about me, what I eat, how much I exercise, you even think you know about events that happened in my life long before I met you.

    During my first appointment I told you about an injury I suffered many years ago, you told me I was not injured I am just fat and that is why I am in pain. I told you I exercise in the morning and evening, more than an hour of exercise each day, and you said I should take up swimming. I got as far as starting to tell about my breakfast and you proceeded to tell me I needed to cut back on my carb and caloric intake.

    I try to tell you how I feel and you cut me off and tell me how I really feel. No, I don’t have pain there I can only have pain caused by my weight. I have to wonder if I should trust anything you say because your advice is based on what you think is happening and not on what I tell you.

    You talk to me like I am a brain damaged 5 year old, like I am too stupid to understand anything.

    Your attitude towards me hurts me deeply. What little self esteem I had left after years of seeing other doctors with the same attitude you have you are taking away at each visit. I don’t expect much from everyday people, I have learned they act out of ignorance and the need to feel superior to someone, and a fat woman makes a good target. But I expected more from a medical professional like you. Even though I have other health problems I am seriously considering not returning for the next appointment, never seeing a doctor again, any doctor.

    So much for the Hippocratic oath.

    • Ohoyo Tohbi

      As a member of the healthcare community and a happy healthy active and yes, fat girl myself, please let me express my response to your letter – CHANGE PHYSICIANS. We are NOT all like that. Work until you find one that you respect AND who respects YOU. Don’t disregard what you mentioned yourself -other health problems- for someone’s ignorance or idiocy, regardless if they have MD after their name. You deserve better and you still deserve appropriate healthcare. I had a PA for years and she was chunky like me and you know what? She was knowledgeable AND able to relate! She rocked it. We are out here. :) Find us. For you.

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  • Jessica Sousa

    My love letter :D