Can You Really Forgive an Internet Bully or Fat Shamer?

love-letter-to-a-bullyOr more to the point, can I really forgive the internet bullies that spend time shaming my customers, my Curvy Girl Cover Girls and me all day and all night?

The short answer is yes. I do forgive all of those anonymous people who like to create reddit websites and threads all about how much they hate me. I read their crap and honestly, it just makes me sad for them. (Or sad for you, if you are one of them. Realistically,  most likely a small percentage of you reading this are here to shame or bully me. You’re here to use my words and twist them around and make me feel bad about my fat body. Have fun!)

The long answer is still, yes with a big but. (Ha ha.)  Not to be trite, but “forgiveness is the gift you give yourself.” Since our last “Love Letter to a Bully Campaign” I have been told I would be “better off dead” and I should just kill myself.  I have been called a ham planet, land whale, fat pig, Barney, gross and a bacon factory. (Um, EFF YAH… sorry, but being a bacon factory would be RAD!) (Here’s the big but I mentioned.)  But, the ironic thing is that all of that hate being thrown my way INSPIRES ME and helps me to JUMP OUT OF BED in the mornings knowing that the work I do is NEEDED and important. The world needs MORE love and MORE acceptance and MORE celebration of bodies of all shapes and sizes. And that is what I do!

My friend, Jen McLellan, of Plus Size Birth said it best:

“Over time I’ve become less and less enraged by trolls.  I actually feel really sorry for them.  I spend my time behind the keyboard empowering women and it’s incredibly rewarding.  I can’t imagine how much low self-esteem it requires for someone to receive satisfaction by belittling people.  Bullies type things, behind the safety of their keyboard, that they’d never say to someone’s face (or at least I’d hope not).  It’s cowardice and I’m unable to comprehend how hurting others can be pleasurable.  Shaming people has real consequences and words can be damaging.”

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Can you be happy AND fat?


5 Tips for Loving your Curvy Body

I mean, don’t you have a skinny girl inside of you just dying to get out so you can finally be happy?


I want to hear from you on my blog here, please.  Include your pics if you want.  And I want real talk. I feel incredibly happy and I am clearly very fat according to the rest of the world and their thin ideal. I mean, aren’t you supposed to look like a Barbie doll to be happy? Well, I am FAR from the Barbie yet I am extremely happy. Sure, I have my bad days. Life happens. Shit happens.  We all have our down days, but I would say 98% of the time I am fat, sassy and happy.

What about you, Curvy Girls?

Share your experience here in the comments, please. (And, I will remind you that you just never know who might read this and learn something from your comment. Someone may need to read exactly what you wrote today.)  Thank you.


6 Tips for Men Buying Lingerie For Your Wife or Girlfriend

full-figure-lingerieWe know that buying lingerie for someone else is tricky. And, for men who buy lingerie for women, it’s especially intimidating. Buying the wrong size can be problematic and rarely leads to hot sex. :)

(Our plus size lingerie store link is here:

Since men do not usually have much experience with women’s clothes and sizing, this is specifically written for men who want to buy lingerie for their wives, girlfriends, or lover. Men tell me that women’s clothing and sizing is are confusing for them. (I hear, ya! It’s confusing for us, too.  Typically, when we have a new customer at our boutique, we tell our customers they can be anywhere from size 1x to 6x no matter what size they are.)

Often times, when men come to our boutique they want to show us pictures of their girls on their cell phones, but sadly, we cannot tell much about her size by a cell phone picture. Here is some information that you can arm yourself to shop at our boutique and our online store.

6 Tips For Men Buying Lingerie this Valentine’s Day

1.  Pay attention to the colors she likes to wear. Look at her closet or pay attention to what you see her wear to work or out for fun dates with you. Are there colors you know she hates? There is likely a theme in her wardrobe. Does she like neutrals? Does she wear yellows or oranges? Do you see her wearing a lot of reds or purples? Pay a bit of attention so you know what to not to buy. I am sure there are some colors she hates and some colors she loves.

2. Do some snooping. Without looking to creepy, look in her underwear drawer and see if you can see if there is a theme of sizes in there. (We all have several sizes of everything. Women’s clothes are random like that.) So see if  you see a bunch of one size or check Continue reading